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+--- Thread: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes (/showthread.php?tid=7849)
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - dmann - 03-24-2006
Some interesting responses here!!!
mattkime- I've been called many things, but a "brazen hussy" is a first for me!
incognegro- no "rules" here. Just terrified of dating and not so sure I want to set myself up for more rejection. FWIW, my friends all say I should contact him.
There were some nice guys there but many of them were way too young for me (I'll be 37 next month.) I am not looking for a husband but I am not looking to go out and get wasted every night either. I own my own place, have a great job and just want someone to share that with. I am not looking for someone to take care of me.
FWIW, I am not going to be winning any beauty contests any time soon. I am average looking and very overweight. I don't judge too much on looks in hopes that others won't do the same to me.
DM
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - Mike Sellers - 03-24-2006
How high do you have your spam filter turned up? Mine is set very high so legit emails from people get dumped into it occasionally because the sender is not in my address book. I try to check my delete folder before I quit the program but I have lost a few messages this way.
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - 3d - 03-24-2006
incognegro Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> this is one of those "rules" i was talking about:
>
> Let him eMail you first. If you eMail him first
> you'll be seen as "easy". If you don't hear from
> him, move on.
>
Before throwing out my advice as suggested.
FYI: I'm a guy. Single. In my 30's. "Normal". And very much in the dating scene.
If i'm not interested in a girl. I will not call. Simple as that. If i am interested in her. It doesn't matter how busy i am at work. I WILL CALL/EMAIL her.
If a girl i'm really not interested in contacts ME. In my mind, i'm thinking, she wants me bad. Go out with her for 2-3 times. Get laid. Then don't dump her. Sorry i'm no Dalai Lama here.
Hey there are plenty of guys right here in this forum!
Why not give one of us a chance. Got a pic?
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - dmann - 03-24-2006
You're a good guy Mike Sellers.
I've been keeping an eye on that. The address he has is a gmail account I rarely use so there are no filters set up on it.DM
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - raz - 03-24-2006
If you're interested, call or email - whichever you're more comfortable with. Guys can be clueless as well as shy. My wife had to whup me upside the head wif a two-by-four to get my attention.
YMMV
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - dmann - 03-24-2006
3d- as TEMPTING of an offer as that is, I think I'll pass on posting a pic. Enough people on this forum have met me in person and can vouch for my appearance (or lack thereof!)
You guys aren't helping me here. I can play the "email. Don't email" game by myself. I was hoping for a strong consensus!
DM
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - mattkime - 03-24-2006
more seriously - of course you should email him. things between the sexes are a lot more even than most people say. just put yourself out there. whatever happens is better than nothing.
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - 3d - 03-24-2006
Throw out any and all advice from people who have not dated in the past 5+ years for whatever reason. Married, LTR, or losers. Their advice is worthless.
You want advice from someone who is single and active in the dating scene TODAY. It's true you gotta be aggressive in your dating tactics. But DO NOT CALL the guy first. You're just setting yourself for heartbreak. Girls get much more emotonally attached than guys.
If the guy is interested in you he'll call you.
Sorry if i sound a bit harsh. I'm just lookin' out for a fellow Mac user.
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - Paul F. - 03-24-2006
I disagree with 3d.
Drop him an email.
And if you're ever in far-northern california.. email ME..
Re: "He's just not that into you" and other dating woes - PeterB - 03-24-2006
I know I'm not the "typical guy", but I say, contact him. I think in general most guys would love for women to take the pressure off them by the woman's making the first move. (At worst, as others have pointed out, he might say "no", and then you haven't lost much... as others have pointed out, plenty of fish in the sea...)
The way I rationalize this is as follows: when a man hits on a woman, he's just being a "guy"-- it's expected of him as a male that he chases after anything with two legs and a pulse (sad, really, when you think about it!). On the other hand, if a woman hits on a man, there's really no question that she likes him. So it takes a lot of the "guesswork" and "games" out of things when the woman is the one to take the first move. But some people (not myself) actually really *like* and *want* the games, and don't at heart want to divest themselves of them... I try to avoid the game-players myself.