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+--- Thread: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? (/showthread.php?tid=16388)
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - Pam - 08-05-2006
My point was to give the guy the benefit of the doubt rather than attack him. I've lived in townhouses for over 20 years and pretty much everytime one is sold and the new owner moves in, something happens. If they are attacked under the assumption that they already can read everyone's minds and are just being jerks it just makes everyone miserable. If someone approaches them and explains things nonjudgementally usually everything works out fine. There are always exceptions but most people have no idea how their behavior is affecting everyone else or to what degree.
Personally I'd much rather have someone approach me to clue me in on what I am doing to annoy others rather than have folks make all kinds of assumptions and basically attack me. That would really piss me off. And I think you should treat others as you wish to be treated. If the guy doesn't respond to reasonable requests, then he's an ass and have at it.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - kap - 08-06-2006
I'd take Pam's suggestion.
I think non-smokers are more sensitive to smoke hence they pick up the odor rather easily. I don't drink nor eat salt much so I can pick up the alcohol and saltiness even with a miniscule quantity. Of course, my drinking and salty food eating friends think I am some kind of paranoid.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - Grateful11 - 08-06-2006
[quote kap]I'd take Pam's suggestion.
I think non-smokers are more sensitive to smoke hence they pick up the odor rather easily. I don't drink nor eat salt much so I can pick up the alcohol and saltiness even with a miniscule quantity. Of course, my drinking and salty food eating friends think I am some kind of paranoid.
I'm with you on that Kap. Due to Meniere's I'm limited to 2000mg of sodium/day. I
never add salt to anything anymore. Canned soups are the worst, it's very hard for
me to eat any kind of canned soup, the amount of salt in a can of soup is
horrendous. Salted potato chips and pretzels, man what can I say. I have been
known to flick all the salt granules off of pretzels and sometimes they're still too
salty. I'm blown away by the number of people that salt their entire plate of food
even before tasting it.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - kap - 08-06-2006
Gatefull11,
I have personally witness a guy in his mid 50s pouring 2/3 of salt from the table salt shaker onto his medium sized steak! He's been doing that for years. He's still around.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - Buzz - 08-06-2006
wow, a few more responses than expected... thanks all!
first, new guy has been around only a few weeks, and his roomie gal has been around here less than a year; they're the newbies in this locale. the last gal that moved in here was fifteen years ago; a year and half later she became Mrs. Buzz. not much turnover around here; I've been here nearly 30 years. newbies therefore pay the most of anybody here. landlord, while decent guy, is hands off, so this would be management co. issue, but frankly, I don't see getting much traction from that direction.
at least half a dozen neighbors have asked new guy several times to amend his activities to be more accomomdating, and the fleeting relief has been temporary, at best. if he's not a selfish pr!ck, then he's dumber than stump not to understand that his continued misbehavior is being found offensive by all of his neighbors; or maybe it's just both. so, Pam, while I appreciate your input, new guy has already been treated respectfully, but has willfully moved into the "ass" category you describe, which is what drove me to post in the first place.
the sticker thing was meant for the windshield, not any painted part of his car; I'm not suggesting anything criminal, just a persistent reminder for him that is only intended to remain as persistent as his misbehavior. thanks again for the follow up here.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - BigGuynRusty - 08-06-2006
[quote Buzz]wow, a few more responses than expected... thanks all!
first, new guy has been around only a few weeks, and his roomie gal has been around here less than a year; they're the newbies in this locale. the last gal that moved in here was fifteen years ago; a year and half later she became Mrs. Buzz. not much turnover around here; I've been here nearly 30 years. newbies therefore pay the most of anybody here. landlord, while decent guy, is hands off, so this would be management co. issue, but frankly, I don't see getting much traction from that direction.
at least half a dozen neighbors have asked new guy several times to amend his activities to be more accomomdating, and the fleeting relief has been temporary, at best. if he's not a selfish pr!ck, then he's dumber than stump not to understand that his continued misbehavior is being found offensive by all of his neighbors; or maybe it's just both. so, Pam, while I appreciate your input, new guy has already been treated respectfully, but has willfully moved into the "ass" category you describe, which is what drove me to post in the first place.
the sticker thing was meant for the windshield, not any painted part of his car; I'm not suggesting anything criminal, just a persistent reminder for him that is only intended to remain as persistent as his misbehavior. thanks again for the follow up here.
Wow!
Kinda narrow minded.
I am reading your post and I am wondering how long it is gonna be before the tire slashing, and the lynching party to begin. If it is really against the rules, then have the rules enforced.
Is this another of your stories?
BGnR
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - ho'ard - 08-06-2006
I thought billb's post was the most reasonable in this thread.
How bizarre that you should choose to tear it to shreds piece by piece.
BTW soma=body==> pyschosOmatic.
[quote RAMd®d](You'd be surprised how many people start gagging when they see someone smoking and the wind is blowing the other way.)
You'd be surprised by how many people (non-smokers especially) can smell that smoke from great distances, or from cars on the street with their windows down.
You might not be surprised at how many people write that "ability" off as psychosematic. You might not be surprised at how many people believe that by people are faking the gaggin, and don't realize that the wind can and has changed directions.
...your post starts off extremely confrontational...
Who is he confronting, by way of this post?
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - RAMd®d - 08-06-2006
You didn't read the subject line ?
I did. You are confused and don't understand context. You said "your post starts off extremely confrontational", but who is the "post" confronting? Nobody. Buzz is obviously upset, but he's confronting nobody, just providing background and asking advice, via post. You're somehow inferring confrontation.
He then goes on to claim he's all ready confronted the neighbor with his concerns.
He does? Where is that stated? Again, you assumed, inferred, or misread. He may have, but that wasn't his claim.
empathizers, it gets you a lot further in life
No, "sympathizers" was accurate for my purposes. This applies to those who are not smokers as well as those who are.
it seems you've found the answer to an earlier question
Again, you've come to an incorrect conclusion. See above.
Doctors try "tough love" including refusing care and treatment to those that smoke. It doesn't work.
So do Dentists.
Parents try it with kids , it rarely works. They sure do think they've fooled you into thinking it has though.
Ok. But for Buzz, this isn't a matter of "tough love". It's not up to him or the other tenants to provide care and treatment to those who smoke. The guy isn't Buzz's patient or child.
Compassion and consideration for others is a good thing. SP is considerate enough not to smoke in his roommate's abode. I don't know if compassion has anything to do with it, or what his specific considerations are. But he doesn't seem to be extending like consideration to his neighbors.
Pam's method works. It takes a LOT more effort and patience.
Well, it certainly *can* work, in appropriate circumstances. *IF* the guy is considerate, a kind word could/should have done the trick. According to Buzz, the guy has moved into another category.
If Buzz was dealing with a family member or good friend, maybe long term effort and patience would be in order. This is a tenant.
- - - -
I thought billb's post was the most reasonable in this thread.
Of course you did. We disagree.
How bizarre that you should choose to tear it to shreds piece by piece.
I disagreed with much of his interpretation of and response to Buzz's post, and posted my opinion to some points. How bizarre that you chose to try to characterize and spin that as "tearing it to shreds, piece by piece".
Don't be such a drama queen.
BTW soma=body==> pyschosOmatic.
You found a mistake. I always appreciate constructive edification.
- - - - -
Buzz, sorry to hear that the manager and management company will be of little or no help.
Leaving notes under the windshield wiper probably won't accomplish much at this point, but adhesive stickers (even on the windshield) may be vandalism, in your area.
Fighting fire with fire isn't usually productive, and is rarely constructive.
My last suggestion would be to have upset neighbors write the company, via Certified Mail. Staying on the backs of the management company looks like your best bet. This assumes you know that he is in fact violating a smoke-free zone.
Or you could pay small children to approach him and sweetly sing "You're killing yourself with your smoking, la la lala la!"
If that doesn't work, they could run around, surrounding him screaming and shrieking "You're killing us with your smoking! We want to live! We want to live!" every time they see him.
Oh, and call a local news film crew.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - mrbigstuff - 08-06-2006
this is my solutions to all things cell phone related. might help him stop smoking, too.
Re: New neighbor smokes, how to best deal w/ this selfish pr!ck? - Buzz - 08-06-2006
the no smoking signs, while small, are clearly visible and certainly known to new guy; they have been pointed out to him, and he has been reminded dozens of times. the "no loud noise please" sign, while singular, is large and posted at eye level about eight feet from where new guy parks, so that he can't miss it when he comes and goes, and has been there for about 20 years.
I have no desire to be confrontational, or adversarial, nor do I believe do the other neighbors; the other neighbors and I merely want to live as comfortably as we did before chick on lease swapped roommates. we have all been cordial to new guy, and asked him nicely, albeit repetitively, essentially to be as cordial and nice in return with regard to his following the local rules just like everyone else does around here.
if you interpreted this thread as being confrontational, that certainly wasn't my intent; I am looking for reasonable solutions. addressing new guy as a selfish pr!ck in the context of this thread is simply my opinion of him based on his ongoing misbehavior in the face of several neighbors and family members having asked him nicely (and repeatedly) to curtail it.
btw, mrbigstuff, I like it! :-) ... where can I order a dozen?