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+--- Thread: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... (/showthread.php?tid=161710)
Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Grateful11 - 12-17-2013
damn. There's just a lot things wrong in this situation. I wasn't put here to judge and I'm not trying to
judge her but this isn't right in so many ways.
Let's just say I had trouble sleeping last night after reading it. On one hand it bothers me that people live
like this but on the other hand I see this as a never ending cycle of working the system and sitting up your
children to be in the system is just wrong in my mind. I think the part about her setting up her children to
be in the system bothers me the most. She probably made some bad decisions over the years but she should
at least try and keep her children out of this cycle.
"Waiting on the 8th"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2013/12/15/waiting-for-the-8th/
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Lemon Drop - 12-17-2013
I don't know if you didn't read the entire article, or just have so little ability to relate to this woman's life story that you can't feel any compassion for her. Your comment that this woman is not "trying" and has not been successful with her children is insulting and simply untrue.
This is the oldest child:
"For 22 years, Tiara had successfully avoided what she referred to as the "ghetto woman traps." She had arrived at adulthood single and childless, a talented musician with a high school diploma and a clean record - "a miracle," Raphael called her. And yet none of those successes had earned her anything like stability, and she had little in her life that qualified as support. Her mother, fearing the next trip to the emergency room, had made her the default guardian for four younger siblings. Her absentee father, a Puerto Rican, had given her nothing but smooth brown skin, soft dreadlocks and, with some reluctance a few years earlier, a phone number where he could be reached in case of emergencies. Believing her life consisted of one long emergency, Tiara had called him the next day, only to learn the number was fake.
At the moment, the only "options" she could list for her caseworker were the new EBT card with her name on it and a food training class hosted by DC Central Kitchen. The class was free, but it was also three months of training that didn't guarantee a job. The class flier had been sitting on the kitchen table for weeks. "Must be able to lift 50 pounds," it read. Must stand for hours. Must work in a noisy environment."
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Filliam H. Muffman - 12-17-2013
Her salvation might be that Walmart* is moving into DC. She can get a job as a consultant helping Walmart* employees sign up for food stamps.
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Black - 12-17-2013
Grateful11 wrote:
damn. There's just a lot things wrong in this situation. I wasn't put here to judge and I'm not trying to
judge her but this isn't right in so many ways.
Let's just say I had trouble sleeping last night after reading it. On one hand it bothers me that people live
like this but on the other hand I see this as a never ending cycle of working the system and sitting up your
children to be in the system is just wrong in my mind. I think the part about her setting up her children to
be in the system bothers me the most. She probably made some bad decisions over the years but she should
at least try and keep her children out of this cycle.
"Waiting on the 8th"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2013/12/15/waiting-for-the-8th/
I don't have time to finish the article right now, but think I read enough to be sure I don't understand your reaction.
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - SDGuy - 12-17-2013
Sounds like the family is getting ahead a little, with each generation - she's one of fourteen children, but she herself has only six children (by five different men). Hopefully, her daughter will do even better...
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - vision63 - 12-17-2013
Grateful11 wrote:
damn. There's just a lot things wrong in this situation. I wasn't put here to judge and I'm not trying to
judge her but this isn't right in so many ways.
Let's just say I had trouble sleeping last night after reading it. On one hand it bothers me that people live
like this but on the other hand I see this as a never ending cycle of working the system and sitting up your
children to be in the system is just wrong in my mind. I think the part about her setting up her children to
be in the system bothers me the most. She probably made some bad decisions over the years but she should
at least try and keep her children out of this cycle.
"Waiting on the 8th"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2013/12/15/waiting-for-the-8th/
I come from South Central Los Angeles. Born at a defunct hospital on the corner of 120th & Broadway. My mother was married but left my father when I was 3. She thought he was the man of her dreams but it didn't work out that way. She had 3 kids. A couple of years after that we were flat out homeless. I get a chill whenever I drive past the bus stop where we sat while my mother tried to figure out what we were going to do. She was and is a proud woman. We sat at that bus bench and prayed our hearts out. A 27 year old black woman with 3 kids in 1965 didn't have a bunch of opportunity at that time. She worked many jobs. One was a candy factory (which I liked) and was always an aide at my elementary school, 118th Street school.
She loved to read and so did her kids. She loved movies and so did her kids. She loved music and so did her kids. She never lied, ever and so goeth her kids. We lived in the middle of the Watts Riots, but she endured. Her kids got straight A's in school.
If there was ever a "program" that we kids could benefit from that she thought was positive, we participated in it. Health clinics, dental clinics, school lunch etc. Until Obamacare I HAD NEVER HAD HEALTH INSURANCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I simply couldn't afford it. Us kids never had it when my mom worked at LAPD either. Rent, then mortgage trumped it every time.
Private industry wasn't very fair, but around 1969 the city of Los Angeles held tests for clerical positions with the Department of Water and Power and LAPD. She found out about it when she was taking business classes at a Los Angeles County sponsored school, a program that rose from the riots a few years back.
She passed both tests and chose LAPD. A clerk typist. Our lives immediately improved, though she still kept working another job at a store called Orbach's. She worked at LAPD for 32 years rising to the civilian head of it's Personnel department. She worked Records and Information division, the Chief's office and the Olympics office where she distinguished herself supremely.
Of course we have many friends and cousins. We know people that have lived on welfare for much of their lives and we've known those that used to be on welfare that that evolved past it. I'd say that would be 95 percent of the people we know.
My mother sent 3 kids to University. My brother and sister to Cal State Northridge and me to Chico State University. We each benefited from the gracious financial aid that allowed us to attend. Basic Grant, California State Scholarship, Supplemental Education Opportunity Grant and money from working at restaurants, Taco Bell and the Skating Rink.
Once I grew up and matriculated I vowed to reach back and help those who were less fortunate than I. I've worked with youth my whole life. Here in the bay area I'm a part of several organizations designed to assist kids from elementary through college.
Really intelligent people like you should really find out what's in your community that you can lend a hand and help kids through this difficult time and not be a lifetime part of the "system."
When i was in high school, my brother became a schizophrenic while going to college which was devastating. I met Mike when he volunteered to to create a theater program at my high school (Washington High). He was a student at UCLA. I was 15 and felt lost. He eventually became an everyday part of my life. I spent a bunch of time at UCLA because he would help me get summer jobs there working with him and his theater workshops. There I met filmmakers, artists and academics. There was "no way" I wasn't going to college. My mother LOVED him because he was such a positive influence on her boy. Mike is one of my best friends to this day. I'm the godfather of his kids.
I remember going to his apartment and seeing this young black man living an independent life while simultaneously educating himself. It was powerful. His own apartment, with Home Pride bread that my mother would never buy because it cost too much. Cute neighbor girls. A piece of car. Ran his own campus clubs. I was hooked.
I have compassion for everyone, even my enemies. Because everybody doesn't have my strength. There are times that I need compassion too because I'm not always the wisest person, so who am I to turn my back? Won't ever happen. My love is a tough but loving love. I tell kids, you should wish you never met me because I will never allow you to give up on yourself and while I may piss them off I don't care. I just don't believe that we ever have substantive change until people rise up to help other people.
That woman in the story is doing the best "she knows" how to do.
Peace out...
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - hal - 12-17-2013
Wow! Thanks for that inspiring bit of personal history. Your mom is an inspiration to us all (I hope).
Well written!
"I get a chill whenever I drive past the bus stop where we sat while my mother tried to figure out what we were going to do."
That sentence stopped me cold... I had to turn away for a moment. I saw the scene all too clearly. How terrifying. I've never been that desperate in my life and it's hard to imagine not crumpling under the stress.
Here's to your mom!
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Chakravartin - 12-17-2013
Grateful11 wrote: On one hand it bothers me that people live like this but on the other hand I see this as a never ending cycle of working the system and sitting up your
children to be in the system is just wrong in my mind.
Seems like she got the short end.
Only once, when she was in her early 30s, had she lived without government assistance. She had moved her children into a two-bedroom apartment near the Southwest waterfront and signed a lease for $925, working as a home health aide during the day and as a prep cook at RFK Stadium at night. "Climbing the ladder," she said, but then came the reality of what that meant. The increase in her income disqualified her from food stamps, and buying food with cash left nothing to pay the gas bill, and cutting off the heat made the winter seem endless, and the combination of the cold house and the 60-hour workweeks aggravated her arthritis, damaged her heart and compelled her to quit work and apply for disability.
For some people, the game is rigged against them.
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Black - 12-17-2013
vision63 wrote:
[quote=Grateful11]
damn. There's just a lot things wrong in this situation. I wasn't put here to judge and I'm not trying to
judge her but this isn't right in so many ways.
Let's just say I had trouble sleeping last night after reading it. On one hand it bothers me that people live
like this but on the other hand I see this as a never ending cycle of working the system and sitting up your
children to be in the system is just wrong in my mind. I think the part about her setting up her children to
be in the system bothers me the most. She probably made some bad decisions over the years but she should
at least try and keep her children out of this cycle.
"Waiting on the 8th"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2013/12/15/waiting-for-the-8th/
I come from South Central Los Angeles. Born at a defunct hospital on the corner of 120th & Broadway. My mother was married but left my father when I was 3. She thought he was the man of her dreams but it didn't work out that way. She had 3 kids. A couple of years after that we were flat out homeless. I get a chill whenever I drive past the bus stop where we sat while my mother tried to figure out what we were going to do. She was and is a proud woman. We sat at that bus bench and prayed our hearts out. A 27 year old black woman with 3 kids in 1965 didn't have a bunch of opportunity at that time. She worked many jobs. One was a candy factory (which I liked) and was always an aide at my elementary school, 118th Street school.
She loved to read and so did her kids. She loved movies and so did her kids. She loved music and so did her kids. She never lied, ever and so goeth her kids. We lived in the middle of the Watts Riots, but she endured. Her kids got straight A's in school.
If there was ever a "program" that we kids could benefit from that she thought was positive, we participated in it. Health clinics, dental clinics, school lunch etc. Until Obamacare I HAD NEVER HAD HEALTH INSURANCE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I simply couldn't afford it. Us kids never had it when my mom worked at LAPD either. Rent, then mortgage trumped it every time.
Private industry wasn't very fair, but around 1969 the city of Los Angeles held tests for clerical positions with the Department of Water and Power and LAPD. She found out about it when she was taking business classes at a Los Angeles County sponsored school, a program that rose from the riots a few years back.
She passed both tests and chose LAPD. A clerk typist. Our lives immediately improved, though she still kept working another job at a store called Orbach's. She worked at LAPD for 32 years rising to the civilian head of it's Personnel department. She worked Records and Information division, the Chief's office and the Olympics office where she distinguished herself supremely.
Of course we have many friends and cousins. We know people that have lived on welfare for much of their lives and we've known those that used to be on welfare that that evolved past it. I'd say that would be 95 percent of the people we know.
My mother sent 3 kids to University. My brother and sister to Cal State Northridge and me to Chico State University. We each benefited from the gracious financial aid that allowed us to attend. Basic Grant, California State Scholarship, Supplemental Education Opportunity Grant and money from working at restaurants, Taco Bell and the Skating Rink.
Once I grew up and matriculated I vowed to reach back and help those who were less fortunate than I. I've worked with youth my whole life. Here in the bay area I'm a part of several organizations designed to assist kids from elementary through college.
Really intelligent people like you should really find out what's in your community that you can lend a hand and help kids through this difficult time and not be a lifetime part of the "system."
When i was in high school, my brother became a schizophrenic while going to college which was devastating. I met Mike when he volunteered to to create a theater program at my high school (Washington High). He was a student at UCLA. I was 15 and felt lost. He eventually became an everyday part of my life. I spent a bunch of time at UCLA because he would help me get summer jobs there working with him and his theater workshops. There I met filmmakers, artists and academics. There was "no way" I wasn't going to college. My mother LOVED him because he was such a positive influence on her boy. Mike is one of my best friends to this day. I'm the godfather of his kids.
I remember going to his apartment and seeing this young black man living an independent life while simultaneously educating himself. It was powerful. His own apartment, with Home Pride bread that my mother would never buy because it cost too much. Cute neighbor girls. A piece of car. Ran his own campus clubs. I was hooked.
I have compassion for everyone, even my enemies. Because everybody doesn't have my strength. There are times that I need compassion too because I'm not always the wisest person, so who am I to turn my back? Won't ever happen. My love is a tough but loving love. I tell kids, you should wish you never met me because I will never allow you to give up on yourself and while I may piss them off I don't care. I just don't believe that we ever have substantive change until people rise up to help other people.
That woman in the story is doing the best "she knows" how to do.
Peace out... Thanks for this.
Re: Normally I'm all for helping those in need but I have read this article and well... - Lemon Drop - 12-17-2013
vision63 wrote:
That woman in the story is doing the best "she knows" how to do.
Peace out...
Amen to that
and peace to you too, you're an inspiration