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+--- Thread: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? (/showthread.php?tid=172296)
Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - john dough - 10-16-2014
At this point in my life, whether I get married again or not, I am realizing that I am not built to get involved with a woman that does not excite my mind as well as my body. This year I started dating an old girlfriend and although some days have been extraordinary, I feel that she has not aged (mentally) since the last time we dated.
After the physical experiences, and realizing that I really have nothing in common with her, I have less of a connection with this person and am feeling not so bad about having her drift away. In reality, I would rather not date anyone and if something happens (or not), so be it.
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - WHiiP - 10-16-2014
To thine own self be true.
But, you still need to be out looking or, searching one (or more) of the relationship sites. Wine, women and song . . .
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - cbelt3 - 10-16-2014
So what do you want out of the relationship ? And is she genuinely reflecting WHO she is, or what she thinks you want ? Relationships are incredibly complex. Time for clear and concise communication ?
Many women are taught to 'act dumb' because 'men are threatened by smart women'. When in fact many of us guys find smart women to be wonderfully attractive (mrs. cbelt3 is WAY smarter than I am.. even more so nowadays.)
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - OWC Jamie - 10-16-2014
I wouldn't deceive anyone my intentions or predilections
nothing wrong with dating just to date.
why frame dating or friendship through the lens of marriage.
enjoy being single
there's nothing wrong with it
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - Paul F. - 10-16-2014
For me, where I am in my life, yes... I would date a woman who is not "marriage material", but only if certain conditions are met.
She and I have to be on the same page on that score. I will NOT lead someone on thinking we have a future together when I've come to the conclusion that we don't.
She has to have SOME redeeming qualities, both physically and mental-stimulation wise. As much as I enjoy the physical, that alone is just not going to cut it. (OK, if she was a super-model-like physique, and terrific in bed, then maybe we wouldn't have to have anything else in common... for a while...).
That's just me.
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - msglee - 10-16-2014
Only if she owns a liquor store, or a boat...a big boat.
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - testcase - 10-16-2014
As we get older, I would think the physical love would be more difficult than the mental part. I also think that, if there is to be a deficiency in only one area, the mental ~ maturity side should be easier to correct than the physical side. People are exposed to new ideas, new technology all the time. Unless she's totally close minded and shut up in her own small world, exposure to a bigger world could get her to realize what she's been missing and, if she's willing to participate in meaningful discussions, use new technology, her mind can be expanded more readily than it would be to get her open her body.
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - john dough - 10-16-2014
cbelt3 wrote:
So what do you want out of the relationship ? And is she genuinely reflecting WHO she is, or what she thinks you want ? Relationships are incredibly complex. Time for clear and concise communication ?
Many women are taught to 'act dumb' because 'men are threatened by smart women'. When in fact many of us guys find smart women to be wonderfully attractive (mrs. cbelt3 is WAY smarter than I am.. even more so nowadays.)
I would like someone who excites my mind AS WELL AS my body (she has, flat out, the sexiest body of any woman I have ever been with). Her mind, on the other hand, leaves me wanting to roll over and go to sleep afterwards. I think after the dust has settled, she is showing me who she really is and I am not interested anymore (the vibe I am getting is that she is drifting as well, so it is not all a loss).
Personally, I would love a brilliant woman, someone who can "hold their own" in a conversation, and then some. Looks are indeed a factor, yet I know that looks fade.
I feel that I will be chalking this up to a rebound relationship and working on other things in my life (and enjoy being single).
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - Racer X - 10-16-2014
msglee wrote:
Only if she owns a liquor store, or a boat...a big boat.
Or muscle cars and a cannon.
Re: Would you continue to date someone who was not "marriage material" (to you)? - john dough - 10-16-2014
testcase wrote:
As we get older, I would think the physical love would be more difficult than the mental part. I also think that, if there is to be a deficiency in only one area, the mental ~ maturity side should be easier to correct than the physical side. People are exposed to new ideas, new technology all the time. Unless she's totally close minded and shut up in her own small world, exposure to a bigger world could get her to realize what she's been missing and, if she's willing to participate in meaningful discussions, use new technology, her mind can be expanded more readily than it would be to get her open her body.
The problem is that she is QUITE stubborn and unwilling to change. Another problem is that she is unwilling to push herself to get what she wants out of life. When I gave her a gentle nudge to get reconnected with her clients (and make more money to pay down her insane debts), this turned into a huge fight. The physical end is no problem; we both find each other alluring (and the attraction is almost at a chemical level). The issue is that is all there really is between us.