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+--- Thread: Friday Funnies (/showthread.php?tid=294630)
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Friday Funnies - Rick-o - 02-28-2025
Re: Friday Funnies - lost in space - 02-28-2025
Guy goes to the doctor and tells him, "Doc, I have really bad gas. Fortunately though, it doesn't smell."
Doctor replies, "Well the first thing we're gonna do is operate on your nose."
_____________________
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings. A man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure... go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$260,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing.... the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
$900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later. I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men look at him in astonishment. He asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
Top
Re: Friday Funnies - Rolando - 02-28-2025
Rick-o wrote:
This one reminds me of a very inappropriate and NSFW and extremely in bad taste joke about Dr Thomas Noguchi!
Re: Friday Funnies - Fritz - 03-01-2025
The man hangs up. The other men look at him in astonishment. He asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"
LOL
Re: Friday Funnies - Lux Interior - 03-01-2025
Rolando wrote:
This one reminds me of a very inappropriate and NSFW and extremely in bad taste joke about Dr Thomas Noguchi!
"Why did you have sex with her?"
"She was lying naked on the table! What else should I have done?"
"THE AUTOPSY!!"
"Don't judge me!"
"You are the worst veterinarian ever!"
Re: Friday Funnies - Tiangou - 03-01-2025
...
Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants.
Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior - there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drank.”
“But we’s privates,” protests Junior.
“NO, we’s sergeants now,” says Bubba, pulling him inside.
“Now, Junior, I’m gonna sit down and have me a drank.”
“But, we’s privates,” says Junior.
"You blind, boy?!” says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. “We’s Sergeants now!”
So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. “You’re cute,” she says, “and I’d like to take you someplace and make you feel good — but I’ve got a bad case of gonorrhea.”
Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, “Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it’s good, give me the okay sign.” Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign.
Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. "Junior,” he says, “What you give me the okay for?!”
“Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates.” Then he pointed to his stripes and says, “But we’s Sergeants now!"
Re: Friday Funnies - Fritz - 03-01-2025
some very funny ones.
Re: Friday Funnies - DP - 03-01-2025
Re: Friday Funnies - wurm - 03-01-2025
Love that last one. Reminds me I have to check my 9v batteries.
Re: Friday Funnies - richorlin - 03-01-2025
