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When a good buddy of mine got married, in a city far away, he suggested "Don't even bother coming to the wedding; wait till we're settled in and come visit for a week".
His point was that we'd have no time to really talk or have fun because he'd be so busy with wedding stuff. Weddings are mostly for the bride and the mothers; I don't know any male who has postive thoughts about attending weddings (unless the bride's maids are really hot).
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Of course a GUY is going to say that.
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A related etiquette tip (and pertinent to the discussion, I think) is that you should never invite someone to the wedding but not the reception, although you can do the opposite and invite someone to the reception but not the wedding (many times there are space limitations at the ceremony, for instance).
So, I think it isn't the worst thing in the world to only go to the reception, but I don't know that the extra hour or so at the wedding would completely inconvenience you.
-Tofer
(who is looking for a woman who wants a 15-minute outdoor ceremony and a barbecue for a reception)
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[quote Tofer]
-Tofer
(who is looking for a woman who wants a 15-minute outdoor ceremony and a barbecue for a reception)
That's entirely too much time and energy devoted to a wedding. How can it possibly take 15 minutes to say "I do" twice?
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[quote Tofer]A related etiquette tip (and pertinent to the discussion, I think) is that you should never invite someone to the wedding but not the reception, although you can do the opposite and invite someone to the reception but not the wedding (many times there are space limitations at the ceremony, for instance).
So, I think it isn't the worst thing in the world to only go to the reception, but I don't know that the extra hour or so at the wedding would completely inconvenience you.
-Tofer
(who is looking for a woman who wants a 15-minute outdoor ceremony and a barbecue for a reception)
our "ceremony" wasnt any longer than that and it was pretty normal -- walking down the aisles, a poem and a decent sermon from our chaplain
15-20 minutes is not unbearable to do anything
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Good Lord, AlphaDog, you have to give the caterers time to get the ribs and chicken on the grill.
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We had a Catholic Mass. Any reasonable person would have skipped our wedding and gone straight to the reception.
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In my personal opinion, skipping the wedding but going to the reception just SCREAMS of "I don't care about you, but I do care about free food."
I can't imagine having any friends that shallow.
(exception I just thought of: if the actual wedding is in a faraway and/or difficult location but the reception isn't, then my view doesn't really apply. I had a couple who wed in Ohio on a Wednesday morning, but had an "Orlando" reception for friends who couldn't make it on a Saturday night.)
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In my book, it depends on how well you know the couple. If not very well (i.e. casual friend), then skipping the wedding is probably okay...afterall, they wont notice if you are there and you wont miss a 'magical' moment of your friend's life.
my 2ยข
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. . .yeah I think go to both or neither. . .it does seem like you only want the free food if you only go to the reception (IMHO). . .
. . .though going to the wedding but not the reception. . .doesn't seem as bad. . .
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