how to give someone money anonymously?

[karsen]

If it has to be anonymously I'd send a money order with a little note saying something like "You're hard work doesn't go unnoticed." so she doesn't think it's from some stalker.

Without knowing the details I think giving it to her yourself is a better idea though.
- Get a greeting card that's blank inside.
- Write out a little message on how you appreciated her help.
- Stuff the cash in it and seal it.
- Next time you see her hand it to her as you're leaving, tell her to open it later so she can't decline it.

[iaJim]

Completely in agreement with Effin Haole. Either that, or forget it entirely and next time communicate with her in advance about your plans. You can't get out of guilt without a little pain.

[Tofer]

iaJim Wrote:
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> You can't get out of guilt without a little pain.

I appreciate all the comments, and I suppose to some extent this could be a bit about guilt, but at the same time when it comes down to it, she deserves the money more than I do. The other ethical option is to tell the people that paid me that I didn't work on the project as much as I had expected, and to take the money back. This is probably the most honest option, but the thing is that they wouldn't be in any position whatsoever to offer her the money (it's an entirely different bureaucracy), and I figure that since they're paying me and someone else did more work, I might as well give it to that person instead. Call me Robin Hood.

As for what to do, I'll mull the option to give it to her openly, but I know she'd feel terrible about taking it, and that's one piece I'd rather she didn't have to deal with. I think she'd be flattered that someone would give it to her anonymously, and she'd probably feel okay about it.

-Tofer

[Paul F.]

Hire a male stripper to deliver it to her?



Failing that, I think cash is better than a check or money order... those she might toss thinking they're fake.

A card along the lines Karsen mentions would be good too.


Might be fun (but impractical, most likely) to try to do something like pay her credit card bill or car payment with that $400.... not leaving her a choice as to whether to accept it...
Or slip gas into her tank for a while until she thinks she's getting 135 miles a gallon...

If you think hard enough, you could have a LOT of fun with giving her that $400... at the risk of her thinking some psycho stalker is after her, however.. so be careful.

[cbelt3]

Wow- you're a real gent and very ethical. Good on you- you're rare.
I actually think paying her bills in some anonymous way would help- pay her utility bill in advance by going to the office and giving them cash money. Make sure they accept a decently typed note explaining, briefly, that you're a nice person who worked with her and felt she deserved some kind of recognition / recompense for all her unpaid efforts.

Then it's up to you to either leave enough hints so that she can ask you if it was you, and beat the truth out of you, or not.

[Todd's keyboard]

Someone once gave me some money in a situation somewhat similar to this. I was volunteering for a non-profit organization (was on the board of directors) and a member sent me a pre-paid American Express card for the amount of one year's dues. He also sent a note of thanks for volunteering my time.

On another occassion a friend wanted to thank me for letting him use my address to receive mail while he was between residences. He managed to go to my bank and deposit money into my account. I was a bit surprised, as he didn't know my account number. The bank only needed to know my name and address.

I like the idea of a pre-paid credit card with a note explaining it is thanks for the volunteer time.

Todd'$ keyboard

[SteveO]

Let me say GOOD FOR YOU!

Lots of good suggestions here. I like the utility bill pay one, and the bank deposit ones best. Easy to find out where she banks, just ask her; tell her you are shopping around for a new bank.

If she has a favorite charity, you could also donate in her name. I think maybe she can take the writeoff that way...