Late Friday Funnies

[lost in space]

An egg and a chicken sit in a doctor’s waiting room.

A nurse walks out of the office and asks, “Alright, which one of you came first?”

“Seriously?” shouts the chicken. ”Here, too?!”

[RgrF]

A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian if she has a book on Pavlovs Dog and Schrodinger's Cat.
She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

[testcase]

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus........


René Descartes, the philosopher, is known for his most famous maxim, “Cogito, ergo sum,” which means “I think, therefore I am.” One night Descartes was in his favorite bar. Closing time rolled around, and the barkeep said, “It’s closing time, Mr. Descartes. One more for the road?” Descartes replied: “I think not.” POOF!


What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha.


How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend? He said, “Everyone, meat Patty.”

[Tiangou]

A polar bear steps up to a bar and orders.

"I'd like a bottle of Molson, a bottle of Stella aaaaaaaaaaand... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... nachos.

The barman asks, "Why the long pause?"

The bear replies, "so I can rip apart seals."

[pRICE cUBE]

[RgrF]

A Brit, a German and an Scot walk into a bar and order beers. Flies then land on each beer. The Brit politely asks for another. The German flicks his fly off the beer and take a swig. The Scot grabs his fly by the neck and screams, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

[wurm]

RgrF wrote:
A Brit, a German and an Scot walk into a bar and order beers. Flies then land on each beer. The Brit politely asks for another. The German flicks his fly off the beer and take a swig. The Scot grabs his fly by the neck and screams, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

That got a lol from me!