08-26-2019, 03:42 AM
Gene,
A few questions/things to think about:
As Sarcany and others ask: Who controls the trust? Alternatively, HOW is control of the trust set up? Additionally, how is the trust itself set up?
If the daughter has control, then she has control over who lives on the trust (obviously). She has no control over who her mother sees, and she can enforce whatever she thinks she can get away with. In this scenario, I would think that Mavis could live on the trust to the end of her days, and there is very little you can do here. I don't think this scenario is entirely true; I don't think the daughter has control of the trust..
HOWEVER, if it is the husband/Mavis, then Sarcany is one-hundred percent correct here. The daughter appears to be trying to have Mavis declared incompetent, and thus the daughter would get control of the money. If Mavis controls the monies, then she can tell the daughter to *stuff it*. If you are a "kept man" and your expenses are coming from Mavis' portion of the trust, then again, she can tell the daughter to *stuff it*. If the remainder of the monies and properties are what actually is the "trust" after Mavis dies, then yes, I can see the daughter trying to shove you out the door, and thereby keeping as much money as possible.
a. From the prior discussion, the husband is not even in the picture! As Janit asked: Is he alive, is he competent, does he even know what is going on? A discussion with HIM about how this is affecting Mavis (not necessarily about how you are affected) would be in order. If he cares, he would step in and put a stop to this. If he is incompetent for whatever reason (dementia, Alzheimer's, etc), then someone else (probably you) will need to step in. The lack of mention of the father/husband's opinion leads me to think that he may be unfortunately incompetent, since the daughter would assume control of the trust if Mavis is found incompetent.
b. What's the all-fired big hurry? After all, how much longer can one reasonably expect an 88 year old person to live (sorry about how this sounds
) and the daughter can *cough-cough* *freaking* wait!!
c. Is the house a part of the trust? If Mavis owns the place and it is not a part of the trust, then the daughter has no say over who Mavis allows to live with her. If Mavis is paying your health bills, then the daughter's complaints about you fall right in line with the other things we know. If Mavis is NOT paying your health bills, then daughter has no say. Again, this depends on how the trust is set up. As Janit said: "The structure of the trust will indicate whether there is anything to fear regarding the daughter."
Now, this is my advice (for what it is worth):
This is bigger than you alone; you can find a place to live for a short time, and if Precious needs to stay with Mavis during this time, then so be it. After all, Mavis *might* need a support animal. You can always periodically (daily?) come back and see her, take care of her, and play with her. The bird, silly! You can always say that the place where you live will not allow you to keep pets, and as long as Mavis agrees to the arrangement, your periodic visits make sense to anyone who asks, particularly if you tell them that the place you are at is only temporary, and you are looking for someplace for both you and Precious. This will keep the daughter from freaking out, or at least it should.
Mavis needs help. If her husband cannot or will not help her, then it is up to you. Find the lawyer who set up the trust, or if that person cannot be found, then find her a lawyer who specializes in trusts. If she won't go see him because she is afraid of the daughter, then set up a meeting with him at whatever place he is willing to meet with Mavis. She doesn't have to meet in the lawyer's office, and the daughter does not have to know anything about it, especially if this is a "what rights do I have" kind of thing. This is easier done without the daughter's knowledge than you may think. And yes, Mavis needs to talk to him because this fight is all about Mavis, her daughter, and the trust. For the lawyer to speak to you concerning anything about his client, the client (Mavis) will have to explicitly tell him that he has permission. If Mavis tells him that she doesn't want him to even acknowledge that he's Mavis' attorney if the daughter asks, then he won't.
Do you know anyone who works in the field of law? Do you know anyone who works in a company that may have need of a lawyer, and thus may have a lawyer on staff or on retainer? DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW A LAWYER OR CAN CONTACT SOMEONE IN CALIFORNIA TO GET THE BALL ROLLING??? (sorry to yell). Referrals are a good thing, and if you need multiple referrals to finally get someone who will take this on, then again, so be it. Short story: my mom needed a lawyer to deal with the results of a car wreck when she was a passenger. The person at fault had insurance and took blame for the accident, but their insurance company did not want to pay her bills, and kept stalling. I talked to the corporate lawyer at work, explained that I know this isn't his area of specialty, but if he could refer me to someone I would be grateful. That referral sent me to another referral, and now Mom has a lawyer, and we haven't heard anything more from the bill collectors.
Help Mavis. Help her help herself. As Sarcany said, this is a "get your butt moving on it" situation. The longer it takes, the harder it will be to get her the help she needs. The daughter is a bully, and has her mother so frightened of what the future will hold for her that she has effectively shut her mother down. Help Mavis to fight back, and sometimes that means that you may do something that the person you love most may hate you for it, but it is the right thing to do. Be strong, Gene. Mavis needs you.
Diana
PS. If any language I have used upsets anyone, I apologize, but bullying helpless individuals really pisses me off.
A few questions/things to think about:
As Sarcany and others ask: Who controls the trust? Alternatively, HOW is control of the trust set up? Additionally, how is the trust itself set up?
If the daughter has control, then she has control over who lives on the trust (obviously). She has no control over who her mother sees, and she can enforce whatever she thinks she can get away with. In this scenario, I would think that Mavis could live on the trust to the end of her days, and there is very little you can do here. I don't think this scenario is entirely true; I don't think the daughter has control of the trust..
HOWEVER, if it is the husband/Mavis, then Sarcany is one-hundred percent correct here. The daughter appears to be trying to have Mavis declared incompetent, and thus the daughter would get control of the money. If Mavis controls the monies, then she can tell the daughter to *stuff it*. If you are a "kept man" and your expenses are coming from Mavis' portion of the trust, then again, she can tell the daughter to *stuff it*. If the remainder of the monies and properties are what actually is the "trust" after Mavis dies, then yes, I can see the daughter trying to shove you out the door, and thereby keeping as much money as possible.
a. From the prior discussion, the husband is not even in the picture! As Janit asked: Is he alive, is he competent, does he even know what is going on? A discussion with HIM about how this is affecting Mavis (not necessarily about how you are affected) would be in order. If he cares, he would step in and put a stop to this. If he is incompetent for whatever reason (dementia, Alzheimer's, etc), then someone else (probably you) will need to step in. The lack of mention of the father/husband's opinion leads me to think that he may be unfortunately incompetent, since the daughter would assume control of the trust if Mavis is found incompetent.
b. What's the all-fired big hurry? After all, how much longer can one reasonably expect an 88 year old person to live (sorry about how this sounds
) and the daughter can *cough-cough* *freaking* wait!!c. Is the house a part of the trust? If Mavis owns the place and it is not a part of the trust, then the daughter has no say over who Mavis allows to live with her. If Mavis is paying your health bills, then the daughter's complaints about you fall right in line with the other things we know. If Mavis is NOT paying your health bills, then daughter has no say. Again, this depends on how the trust is set up. As Janit said: "The structure of the trust will indicate whether there is anything to fear regarding the daughter."
Now, this is my advice (for what it is worth):
This is bigger than you alone; you can find a place to live for a short time, and if Precious needs to stay with Mavis during this time, then so be it. After all, Mavis *might* need a support animal. You can always periodically (daily?) come back and see her, take care of her, and play with her. The bird, silly! You can always say that the place where you live will not allow you to keep pets, and as long as Mavis agrees to the arrangement, your periodic visits make sense to anyone who asks, particularly if you tell them that the place you are at is only temporary, and you are looking for someplace for both you and Precious. This will keep the daughter from freaking out, or at least it should.
Mavis needs help. If her husband cannot or will not help her, then it is up to you. Find the lawyer who set up the trust, or if that person cannot be found, then find her a lawyer who specializes in trusts. If she won't go see him because she is afraid of the daughter, then set up a meeting with him at whatever place he is willing to meet with Mavis. She doesn't have to meet in the lawyer's office, and the daughter does not have to know anything about it, especially if this is a "what rights do I have" kind of thing. This is easier done without the daughter's knowledge than you may think. And yes, Mavis needs to talk to him because this fight is all about Mavis, her daughter, and the trust. For the lawyer to speak to you concerning anything about his client, the client (Mavis) will have to explicitly tell him that he has permission. If Mavis tells him that she doesn't want him to even acknowledge that he's Mavis' attorney if the daughter asks, then he won't.
Do you know anyone who works in the field of law? Do you know anyone who works in a company that may have need of a lawyer, and thus may have a lawyer on staff or on retainer? DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW A LAWYER OR CAN CONTACT SOMEONE IN CALIFORNIA TO GET THE BALL ROLLING??? (sorry to yell). Referrals are a good thing, and if you need multiple referrals to finally get someone who will take this on, then again, so be it. Short story: my mom needed a lawyer to deal with the results of a car wreck when she was a passenger. The person at fault had insurance and took blame for the accident, but their insurance company did not want to pay her bills, and kept stalling. I talked to the corporate lawyer at work, explained that I know this isn't his area of specialty, but if he could refer me to someone I would be grateful. That referral sent me to another referral, and now Mom has a lawyer, and we haven't heard anything more from the bill collectors.
Help Mavis. Help her help herself. As Sarcany said, this is a "get your butt moving on it" situation. The longer it takes, the harder it will be to get her the help she needs. The daughter is a bully, and has her mother so frightened of what the future will hold for her that she has effectively shut her mother down. Help Mavis to fight back, and sometimes that means that you may do something that the person you love most may hate you for it, but it is the right thing to do. Be strong, Gene. Mavis needs you.
Diana
PS. If any language I have used upsets anyone, I apologize, but bullying helpless individuals really pisses me off.