09-01-2019, 01:33 PM
I haven't responded yet for a variety of reasons, especially the reason that we can't get the point of view from Mavis. But we probably won't. So based on that, I would advise you, Gene, that it's time to bail out.
I'm sorry to be so blunt. Having read of this whole disaster going on for you, I see a recurring theme here and that it appears you've been suffering quite a bit of mental abuse from Mavis for years. She seems to want to protect herself from becoming obligated to you for any reason whatsoever, but you still need to be there at her beck and call.
I know you are one of our "seasoned citizens" and as we all age, we tend to rely on the situations we've lived in as an anchor against the uncertainties of the future. To lose that is devastating, and I surely am not minimizing your loss.
That said, and in my opinion, and mine alone, I would tell Mavis that if she won't deal with the situation one way or the other, then you have to end the relationship.
It seems that she does all she can to avoid dealing with her daughter's heavy-handedness, your attempts to do what you can to help, even being sharp and, well, mean to you when you try to discuss solutions. It seems to have been a very one-sided relationship.
If she isn't going to have your six, you need to recognize that. And if you do as I have suggested, It can't be a bluff. You also need to steel yourself to be able to follow through with this option. You are not young, you have myriad medical issues, and you need to think of yourself first.
BB and others have loaded you up with excellent information to help you to move on and you have taken some steps, showing that you can do it. It will be incredibly difficult for you, no doubt, but I see no good outcome from this unless you take this step. Again, it is my opinion alone.
But if leaving Mavis would help you to get over a very long term relationship that you have cherished; seeing that the relationship, without changing to reflect your needs, is destructive as time moves on, then I believe it's the right thing to do.
God bless, Gene...
I'm sorry to be so blunt. Having read of this whole disaster going on for you, I see a recurring theme here and that it appears you've been suffering quite a bit of mental abuse from Mavis for years. She seems to want to protect herself from becoming obligated to you for any reason whatsoever, but you still need to be there at her beck and call.
I know you are one of our "seasoned citizens" and as we all age, we tend to rely on the situations we've lived in as an anchor against the uncertainties of the future. To lose that is devastating, and I surely am not minimizing your loss.
That said, and in my opinion, and mine alone, I would tell Mavis that if she won't deal with the situation one way or the other, then you have to end the relationship.
It seems that she does all she can to avoid dealing with her daughter's heavy-handedness, your attempts to do what you can to help, even being sharp and, well, mean to you when you try to discuss solutions. It seems to have been a very one-sided relationship.
If she isn't going to have your six, you need to recognize that. And if you do as I have suggested, It can't be a bluff. You also need to steel yourself to be able to follow through with this option. You are not young, you have myriad medical issues, and you need to think of yourself first.
BB and others have loaded you up with excellent information to help you to move on and you have taken some steps, showing that you can do it. It will be incredibly difficult for you, no doubt, but I see no good outcome from this unless you take this step. Again, it is my opinion alone.
But if leaving Mavis would help you to get over a very long term relationship that you have cherished; seeing that the relationship, without changing to reflect your needs, is destructive as time moves on, then I believe it's the right thing to do.
God bless, Gene...