06-10-2020, 10:58 PM
My BIL had his bike stolen in that area a couple of years ago... he literally ended up buying it back from the thieves later that day.
In my ideal world, I'd file a police report to get the theft on record. Then pursue the OfferUp and/or other similar leads/services to track it down. If I scored, I'd arrange a meet-up, and bring some large, weaponized friends, to initially be kept at a distance (except for one (that supposedly dropped me off, so I could ride the bike home). I'd record the transaction (have friend use cellphone video), then pull out my 9mm, or similar weapon. The thieves would then be instructed to lay on the ground where they would be patted down for weapons, my funds would be returned, and then they would be stripped naked. They'd then be zip-tied (still naked, and still being recorded) to street sign/utility poles, as available. Pre-made signs would be posted on their poles that read;
"I stole a bicycle that I shouldn't have stolen, and all I got for it is a naked date with this pole." and...
"I'm wrapped up neatly to confess to bicycle theft. Since the [local] police were ineffective at catching me, I've decided to turn myself in."
The local and national media outlets would of course be gifted with photos and videos, and all pertinent pics and vids would be posted online (with another sign providing the link). The [local] LEO's would be called. I'd leave but other associates would stay and keep filming the LEO's "capture" of the thieves.
It'd be epic, if only the world were so ideal.
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In my ideal world, I'd file a police report to get the theft on record. Then pursue the OfferUp and/or other similar leads/services to track it down. If I scored, I'd arrange a meet-up, and bring some large, weaponized friends, to initially be kept at a distance (except for one (that supposedly dropped me off, so I could ride the bike home). I'd record the transaction (have friend use cellphone video), then pull out my 9mm, or similar weapon. The thieves would then be instructed to lay on the ground where they would be patted down for weapons, my funds would be returned, and then they would be stripped naked. They'd then be zip-tied (still naked, and still being recorded) to street sign/utility poles, as available. Pre-made signs would be posted on their poles that read;
"I stole a bicycle that I shouldn't have stolen, and all I got for it is a naked date with this pole." and...
"I'm wrapped up neatly to confess to bicycle theft. Since the [local] police were ineffective at catching me, I've decided to turn myself in."
The local and national media outlets would of course be gifted with photos and videos, and all pertinent pics and vids would be posted online (with another sign providing the link). The [local] LEO's would be called. I'd leave but other associates would stay and keep filming the LEO's "capture" of the thieves.
It'd be epic, if only the world were so ideal.
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