11-29-2008, 07:04 AM
mattkime wrote:
vision - the much simpler (but in no way easier) method is for the children to have father figures.
(hand thanksgiving dinner with someone that works with at risk children.)
Then be prepared to help boys understand that life is a full-on journey and not a moment to moment series of satisfactions. Help them to grasp the totality of their existences and that every action they take has consequence, good, indifferent or bad. Help them to understand that we "need" them to be productive parts of our whole, because we want them to add to the dialog.
You can't just sit there and expect them to just "get it" at some magical point. We have to teach them that their lives are important and the actions that affect their lives means something to us too. We have to care enough to show them that their ill behavior "disappoints" us and that we're concerned how it affects their lives. But you have to earn that respect by either being a part of their lives or supporting those that endeavor to be their big brothers and help guide them. That's how you create responsible fathers.