For those that like Fruitcake...

[davester]

Sorry rgG, but that looks awful. I actually like the fruitcakes that I had in my youth in England, because they had nuts, raisins and small chunks of dried fruits and were not terribly sweet. I think the current american versions which are jammed with cloyingly sweet glazed fruits are absolutely ghastly and deserve the derision that has been heaped upon them.

[eustacetilley]

jdc wrote:
I think I speak for several peeps here: :barf:

I don't usually respond to smilies, but the one above just happens to be perfect. This is how to make a decent fruitcake:

Let's be clear about one thing: you start out with a pound of flour, and that is for a _small_ fruitcake. A fruitcake is primarily cake, with some fruit. And almonds. And good Irish whiskey. And time- lots of time. It takes time to make one, more time to cook one, and a _lot_ more time to let that good Irish whiskey do its job. If you don't have the time, settle for making a nice Barm Brack instead.
(Anything that claims to be a fruitcake, and is composed of 90% revolting fruit isn't a fruitcake, it's a fruitblob, and if you get one this time of year, make appropriate use of that Trebuchet that you have stashed in the back garden shed.)

You will need some rather specialized equipment- a really large mixing bowl, two smaller mixing bowls, a large wooden spoon, and a sieve. If you don't have a proper 12" fruitcake pan, a bundt pan will do. It needs to have that hole in the center. At least a couple of smaller loaf pans just in case.
OK, here goes:

2 Lbs flour
1/2 Lb white sugar
1/2 lb brown sugar
2 tsp Allspice
1 tsp ground Cloves
2 tsp baking powder
Zest from 2 large Oranges
Sieve all together in the large mixing bowl, and just for good measure, sieve again. (You aren't done sieving...)

Prepare your fruit.
(A digression; the choice of fruit is a matter of personal taste, but remember where this recipe hails from, where such things as Dates, Figs, Pecans, and (shudder) Pineapple are not native.)

1 Lb Black Raisons
1 Lb Yellow Raisons
1/2 Lb mixed candied cherries, orange and lemon peel
1/4 Lb slivered Almonds
(Reserve a small handful of cherries and almonds for later.)
Sieve some of the prepared flour mix over the fruit in the smaller bowl, being sure that all the bits are thoroughly coated. This is critical, and if not done, the fruit will tend to settle to the bottom while baking.


In the second mixing bowl, cream together:
2 Lbs salted butter
2 Tbs vanilla extract
A dozen eggs
Either half a pint of stout tea, or half a pint of Guinness Stout. Or a gill of each.

Now here is where you need a likely lad, because the wet ingredients must be added to the dry, slowly, and with great strength. It is right when the mixing bowl can be turned upside down, and nothing will fall out, not even the spoon. This is not an Angel Food Cake recipe. At this time, set your oven to 300 degrees. Even 275 degrees is good; it all depends on your oven.

Now, carefully fold the fruit mixture into the batter. Do not overmix, the fruit needs to remain somewhat floured.
You now have something over ten pounds of fruitcake batter here. Take your fruitcake pan, generously butter the inside, line thoroughly with waxed paper, and then generously butter the waxed paper.
Scoop large chunks of batter into the pan, mushing down with the wooden spoon, which by now tastes quite delicious, leaving about an inch to spare from the rim. Sprinkle the top with your reserved cherries and almonds, pop in the oven, and bake overnight. You can fill the smaller pans with the leftover batter and bake them as well, but it's already midnight, and it means getting up around Three and checking on them. Best put the remaining batter in a cool but not cold place for later.
The cake is done when a toothpick, a really long toothpick, can be inserted and pulled out dry, and the crust resembles the deep mahogany color of a well-shrunken head, (With cherries, and toasted almonds...) Depending on actual size, the baking time varies from 3-6 hours.

When done, and cooled down, place the cake upside down on a large sheet of Aluminum foil, peel off the bits of waxed paper, (Don't eat too many bits...), sprinkle whiskey generously on the top, fold the foil up and scrunch it tight, and stash away for a few weeks, opening it every few days to whiskey it.

Now about the lists of ingredients, they are merely advisory, and some of you will try to sneak some Pineapple in anyway, but if you start out with at least a pound of flour, you won't go too far wrong.

Eustace

[davester]

eustacetilley wrote:
...fruitcake...
Eustace

Exactly!

[RAMd®d]

I think I speak for several peeps here

Fortunately, not for me.

I love fruitcake and occasionally order one from https://www.collinstreet.com/pages/about_us . Very tasty indeed.

At one point their cake sales were not nearly what they wanted and calling them pecan cake revived their business. That cracked me up.

I'm heading to Costco tomorrow for provisions, so I'll look for the fruitcake.

Thanks rg.

[pqrst]

Wonder if the revived from bankruptcy hostess is making this .... http://static.caloriecount.about.com/ima...-60990.jpg

[vicrock]

I made 33 this year - they are all wrapped and brandied (second treatment just done) and resting until next month. I have two different recipes that I use - one more traditional and one more "modern".

Homemade fruitcake is FAR superior to anything store bought.

[rgG]

To each his own, but I like the Kirkland fruitcake.
It is a once a year treat, for me.
Now, it might be better if it had been basted in a tasty brandy, but it s still good.

[bazookaman]

For those that like Fruitcake...

I thought this was a trick question.

One of the funniest things I've ever seen was on Johnny Carson where a prop guy brings out a fruitcake on a forklift and sets it on Johnny's desk...which immediately collapses.

[3d]

I'll have a piece when I see it in the office break room. Not sure what I'd do with an entire cake of it.

[Paul F.]

3d wrote:
I'll have a piece when I see it in the office break room. Not sure what I'd do with an entire cake of it.

Yearly, upon the solstice, remove it from the freezer, worship it briefly, then return it to it's crypt for next year...