new relationship

[gadje]

suppose you're divorced, you meet someone and start dating again. How much do you share with your new lover? do you tell them how many lovers you had, ask them how many lovers they had, how many details do you share with each other?

[MacArtist]

I wouldn't talk about it. It's all in the past.

[riley5108]

MacArtist wrote:
I wouldn't talk about it. It's all in the past.

:agree:

Don't ask and don't tell it's in the past.

[Buzz]

If they can't accept your past, there's no hope for the future. Let the conversation evolve naturally; it's just that, a conversation, not an interrogation. There should be no right or wrong answers, just a pleasant exchange of information. It's not a contest, so if either of you starts judging the answers or information, rightly or wrongly, it's likely not gonna bode well down the road... more hope if everything is judged as right, but the mere fact that judging creeps in means answers and info are being scrutinized, and when something wrong eventually pops up, it will need to be dealt with.

Now, if you'd like to share your whole life's history here, we can help you organize your presentation....

[jdc]

3 month rule.

[testcase]

BOTH of you should be tested for STDs. If needed, get treated. Then you'll both know you're safe. :oldfogey:

[OWC Jamie]

If they can't handle who you are maybe find someone more mature.
You're as sick as the secrets you keep.

[Racer X]

Sharing your past comes later, if the time is right, and if it matters.

[maco]

I'm widowed. My late wife and I had a wonderful marriage and friendship. I do let women know that I am widowed from day one. Some people that I know in the widowed community wait until after a couple of dates to share that. With the rest of the details, I try to judge that person's comfort level. I typically don't talk about the women that I have dated since she passed, unless they want to. It seems that more often than not they do end up asking me about that. Dating certainly is easier at this stage of life.

[vision63]

maco wrote:
I'm widowed. My late wife and I had a wonderful marriage and friendship. I do let women know that I am widowed from day one. Some people that I know in the widowed community wait until after a couple of dates to share that. With the rest of the details, I try to judge that person's comfort level. I typically don't talk about the women that I have dated since she passed, unless they want to. It seems that more often than not they do end up asking me about that.

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