Friday Funnies

[pRICE cUBE]

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

[ztirffritz]

Donald Trump has a heart attack and drops down dead. He finds himself in hell in front of Satan. Satan says, well this is a real pickle. You definitely belong down here but I have no room. I know, I’ll let someone else out and you can take their place, I’ll even let you pick”

Trump is taken down a hallway full of doors. Inside the first door is Richard Nixon. He’s diving into a pool of water over and over again trying to catch a fish but always comes up empty. “I don’t think so. I’m not good with swimming and water. That would be hell to me. “ Satan chuckles.

At the next door they find Boris Johnson swinging a sledge hammer at an unbreakable rock. “I have this old shoulder injury. That looks like it would be aggravated by swinging the hammer so much.”

At the third door they find Bill Clinton, staked to the ground, naked. Atop him Stormy Daniels is doing what she does best. Trump’s demeanor perks up. He thinks to himself, “Those stakes look painful...but Stormy...yum.” “Ok,” he says to Satan, “I’ll take this one.” Satan says “ Huh, didn’t see that coming. Ok Stormy, you may leave.”

[MrNoBody]

after last night...

[testcase]

When I was a kid, my parents would always say “Excuse my French” after a swear word. I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked if we knew any French. miley-shocked003:




A recent immigrant from Poland who was married to an American barged into the police station out of breath. “My wife, she try to kill me!” he stammered. “Are you absolutely sure?” questioned the police officer. “Of course I sure” he countered. “You think I’m dumb? Look what I found in her purse!” He reached in his pocket and pulled a bottle. “Look, it says polish remover!” :RollingEyesSmiley5:

[Rick-o]

[Blankity Blank]

Florida Man weighs in on climate change. (You Tube 1:01)

[voodoopenguin]

I went back to see my doctor yesterday.
I said, "I applied the hemorrhoid cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction."
"Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.
"On the bus."

Paul

[timg]

[wurm]

timg wrote:

Now, that made me LOL!

[space-time]

timg wrote:

what is this? I cannot see anything.