Friday Funnies

[pRICE cUBE]

[pRICE cUBE]

Q: If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? A: Idaho… Alaska!

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Q: What do you call a three-footed aardvark? A: a yardvark!

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Q: Where do bees go to the bathroom? A: At the BP station!

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Q: How do you drown a Hipster? A: In the mainstream.

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Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? A: Clean Jokes!

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Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: “Where’s Popcorn?”

[SteveG]

[Blankity Blank]

And the lion and the... wiener dogs?... shall lie down together.




These days, close enough.




These three have been friends for awhile. Leo has a bad tooth and has been depressed. Frick and frack are serving as his ‘therapy dogs’.

[Rick-o]

[Altered Horizons]

Military Advice:

Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.

If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

If the enemy is in range, so are you.

Tracers work both ways.

Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.

A good landing is when you can walk away from the plane. A great landing is when you can reuse the plane.

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

Five second grenade fuses last about three seconds.

Try to fly in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, and trees. It is much more difficult to fly there.

Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.

If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

The three best things in life are: A good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same time.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

Coffee tastes better if the latrines are dug downstream from an encampment.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

[testcase]

I have a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m sexy.” When I’m feeling down, I just sit at a green light until I feel good about myself.

[MrNoBody]

:damnyou:

[Filliam H. Muffman]

[Rick-o]

MrNoBody wrote:


:damnyou:

Take my money now!!!! I NEED this!!! miley-laughing001: