Baby Shower Etiquette

[jardster]

My wife is pregnant with our 3rd, and she had baby showers for the 1st two (for the 1st, her mother organized it, for the 2nd, it was at work)... now she isn't working outside of the home. I was wondering if I was somehow responsible for making a baby shower happen, or after 2, do you not get any more. I certainly could talk to the parents of the kids our kids are friends with, but I feel like I'm asking for gifts. On the other hand, I don't want my wife to feel that she didn't get anything.

Suggestions?

[Mac-A-Matic]

Does your wife no longer have any friends?

Typically, even after the third child, the friends or family of the mother will plan the baby shower. At least that's been my experience (or what I have observed).

[rgG]

Mac-A-Matic wrote:
Does your wife no longer have any friends?

Typically, even after the third child, the friends or family of the mother will plan the baby shower. At least that's been my experience (or what I have observed).

:agree:
Yep, that is usually how it works. If you are still concerned, talk to her mother about it.

[H1N1]

lots of soap and water, stiff brush.
lather, rinse, repeat

[raz]

My wife's circle of friends stopped after 1. How much *stuff* does she really need at this point?

[bazookaman]

not sure about the 2nd or 3rd child but with our first (and only), we had several volunteers from our circle of friends to host the shower.

[RAMd®d]

was wondering if I was somehow responsible for making a baby shower happen

No, you're not.

As mentioned it's most often the wife's friends. The circle may be smaller than if she were still working outside the home.

So you're off the hook here.

Be advise[d] that does not mean you're allowed to miss birthdays and anniversaries.

[AlphaDog]

I guess things have changed a lot. Back in the olden days, the shower for the first baby was an exciting affair. When the second child was on the way, you were on your own, with the assumption being there were "leftovers" from the first child. Of course that was normally true. After the birth of the second (or third or fourth), people would bring gifts for the baby at the time they came to see it, but there was no big hoopla of a baby shower.

[Wailer]

We had a shower for our first baby. For the 2nd we had a "no-gifts please" party.

I'm so anti-junk, anti-gift. I understand some people want to bring a gift, but I despise having to put people through the expense and time of having to shop of a gift. We usually give a nice gift for the 1st kid and a token practical gift for the 2nd one. I feel like we should be giving a box of condoms for each subsequent one.

I understand baby showers yield practical gifts, but a 3rd baby shower starts reeking of diaper begging. Of course if you treat people to lunch at a restaurant, many will feel obligated to bring a gift. But if you have it at a home, I'd highly recommend a no gift pot luck to celebrate.

[graylocks]

it's a girl thing; you're not responsible. however, i'd lobby for a no-gifts type of gathering for a 3rd child. anyone driven to give a gift still will but it let's others off the hook while still celebrating a wonderful event. a co-worker recently had a 3rd child shower and it did strike me as grabby.