+- MacResource (https://forums.macresource.com)
+-- Forum: My Category (https://forums.macresource.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1)
+--- Forum: Tips and Deals (https://forums.macresource.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Thread: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) (/showthread.php?tid=20243)
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - Big Daddy Cool - 10-09-2006
while you're at it– and i hope you are taking this all as constructive criticism– move Ne-Yo's circle over to the right so it falls between the two on top of it, like The Killers circle does, All those circles should either be equi-distant, or different enough not to look like a mistake.
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - trisho. - 10-09-2006
>>>shadow under the phone so it doesn't look like it's floating.
>>>#2: drop 'and' down to the next line and tighten up the leading.
It was before but I moved upstairs to focus on "CONFIRM". Which method may be better?
>>>What's up on the left of the Ne-Yo image?
Thanks, I didn't notice his extra hattage...
>>>tighten up the leading and reduce the type size a bit on the 'Get them now on your phone ' so the text fits better within the splatter
Thanks.
>>>maybe put their logo on the phone's screen as an alternative?
I thought about that as well but the logo is so long it wouldn't make sense. It's the mobi-Dada.net logo on bottom left. Too much for such a little space.
Why do you think the other font is ugly, still? I would like to have a design reason to possibly change it.
And I am taking this as constructive criticism. It may/will help me land a well-paying job.
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - Big Daddy Cool - 10-09-2006
"Why do you think the other font is ugly, still?"
Because it's not attractive to the eye, hence, ugly.
Feels like a freebie font from a cd. Like I said, especially noticeable on the '$9.99'– just ugly numbers…
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - vision63 - 10-09-2006
I think it looks fine as is except I'd enlarge the size of the phone and experiment with the placement of the © and terms and conditions and the block of text underneath as they collectively relate the the logo block on their left. It's probably best as it is, but I center the block, try it at the bottom and then back where it is. Great work.
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - Baby Tats - 10-09-2006
BDC said everything that I would have and more.
I have to concur on that typeface. I find the #s, the exclamation, and the a's to be fugly.
The bottom needs some rearranging. Bring the copyright down to the bottom. I like to be able to spot the links can you move them up and center them. Not sure where to put the asterisk text, maybe bring it down and put it above the Dada.net text. All that should allow you to tighten that box up and make it smaller.
Damn that phone levitating in air is weird.
BT
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - Mike Johnson - 10-09-2006
I agree with Big Daddy Cool and Baby Tats about the 9.99 typeface. The lowercase t really looks bad to me. It looks like it belongs on a web page selling discount web hosting services. It doesn't look much like what's used in the instructions; same family, maybe, but they don't work well together.
The 9.99 text might also benefit from being rotated a smidge, or maybe moved to the right, and I second the comment about making the photo fit the perspective of the phone, maybe desaturated a bit too. And the watermark on the phone is distracting, as is the fact that it's a mirror image.
The faint ghost lines, horizontal and vertical, that sorta run between the artists and the instructions -- what are they for?
The picture of the Killers really doesn't fit with everything else, but I don't know there's much you could do to make the colors fit.
I don't care for the arrow. It's too straight, too clean. I understand it would be clunky if it were opaque, but because it's semitransparent it looks as though it was supposed to appear drawn on the crumpled paper. At the very least it should fir the style of the heading.
I'm also not sure about the circles around the photos, whether they're too straight and clean, but maybe it's good they stand out a little. Maybe they'd look better if they popped out just a little more.
I wouldn't put any shadow under the phone.
It's a nice piece.
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - mikebw - 10-09-2006
I would try and put a larger circle similar to the ones around the artists behind the phone to help it hold that space on the side of the page. Without it some edges of the phone seem to blend into the background, and it just looks very flat. You can still do a drop shadow on the phone but try a circle behind it with a little perspective.
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - trisho. - 10-09-2006
Okay y'all, here is another version with some of the criticism applied. I have to run off to a freelancing gig right now but I will tweak it more tonight and repost it. Please keep the criticism coming, I don't mind at all.
Oh, I was uneasy about the medium-serif typeface as well but couldn't quite put my finger on it, that's why I was asking for a specific design reason, such as form instead of "It's ugly, that's why." The new legible sans serif typeface is Helvetica Neue. If anyone else can propose a different sans serif, please do. It's not meant to match the top/call out copy because it's being used for body copy.
Thanks so much so far...
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - ArtP - 10-09-2006
[quote microchip13]I don't know if you got to choose the artists, but as part of the target audience(In theory anyway) I know one of them, The Killers.
Wow, how can you be in your teens and NOT know Ludacris?
Even Soccer Moms know Luda from the movie Crash....
Anyway to answer the question, Chip confirms that all the artists featured reach a WIDE demographic of users (but that was not part of the question).
Looking at the revised one, looks better but I'm having trouble with the way the Artists line up. Bring Ludicris down a little to make a semi circle or move Fergie up to make a straight line on the top.
I'm not too keen on the whole Paint Splatter design but I am in my 40's BUT I do listen to all those artists (except The Killers - also not a Fergie Fan).
It looks like many of the other Ringtone sites, so you should be on piont.
Re: Design critique, por favor. (Bandwidth warning...) - 3d - 10-09-2006
It needs more color. Don't try so hard to be all matchy-matchy with the limited color pallette. Go with your initial decision and make the 1-2-3 numbers a bright neon green. The 1-2-3 needs to be emphasized to show tha the process is quick and easy.
I like the masking tape bits. Maybe instead of boring beige masking tape, use some of that blue painter's tape for color? It'll go with the spray paint theme you got goin'. Then you can knock out the text that appears on top of the tape... And then instead of neon green for the 1-2-3 numbers, pick up the blue for that...
The "blurry" spray paint bits look bad. Like you got them from different sources (at different resolutions) and you're frankensteining it together at the last minute.
Maybe have the entire left side of the background spray painted black so the silver cell phone pops more. Nah, forget that. You're not selling a phone here. You're selling the ringtones. Make the phone bigger and cropped, bleeding off the edge? Right now the phone is just kinda sitting there. Ho-hum. If you're goin for the teen market. How about showing a Motorola Sidekick3 on there instead of the generic silver phone. Or a Motorola RAZR? Something recognizable for an average teen to make a connection with.