Need help with a Coverletter - Printable Version


Need help with a Coverletter - Printable Version +- MacResource (https://forums.macresource.com) +-- Forum: My Category (https://forums.macresource.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Tips and Deals (https://forums.macresource.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +--- Thread: Need help with a Coverletter (/showthread.php?tid=120076) Pages: 1 2
Need help with a Coverletter - kap - 07-13-2011 Could it be written any better? It's Wife's cover-letter. Tia "Attached is my resume for your review. You will find that I have worked amongst a vast population of many cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, with ages ranging from adolescence to geriatric. I hope that you will consider me a strong candidate for this position and will eagerly await your reply. Sincerely, " Re: Need help with a Coverletter - IronMac - 07-13-2011 Yes, but I can't reword it for now. But: - the second sentence is a bit too long and a bit too awkward. - the third sentence should be something along the lines of "I am sure that you will find me a strong candidate for the position and I will follow up with you next week." Re: Need help with a Coverletter - IronMac - 07-13-2011 What's the position? Re: Need help with a Coverletter - Chakravartin - 07-13-2011 Dear [Insert name of HR person or manager. Write to a specific person whenever possible.] Throughout my years as a [whatever the job was] I have encountered people of many cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds and ages ranging from adolescence to geriatric.	This is the experience that I would bring as your [job title]. [Statement that is more specific than the last one, illustrating strengths that may not be clear from the resume. It's often followed with bullet-points highlighting accomplishments that reflect the applicant's suitability for the specific job.] Thank you for your kind consideration. Yours truly, [Name] Re: Need help with a Coverletter - zero - 07-13-2011 It shouldn't be 3 sentences. Expand as Chak says Re: Need help with a Coverletter - WHiiP - 07-13-2011 zero wrote: It shouldn't be 3 sentences. Expand as Chak says :agree:, BUT, keep it concise. Not too lengthy, or it won't get read. Re: Need help with a Coverletter - testcase - 07-13-2011 1: address it to a particular person. 2: Not "I hope..." Try: You will find me a strong candidate... OR I am a strong candidate..... OR I am the ideal candidate.... 3: I don't like "I eagerly await"...... How about: I look forward to speaking with you soon... OR I look forward to working with you OR I look forward to joining your team Good luck! Re: Need help with a Coverletter - mrthuse - 07-13-2011 If you're satisfied w/ the voice, I suggest the following edits: "Attached is my resume for your review. My experience has been working with populations of diverse cultural and socio-economic backgrounds ranging in age from adolescence to octogenarians. I believe I possess the skills necessary for this position and I hope that you consider me a strong candidate. I eagerly await your reply. Sincerely," If you could be more specific regarding the actual job, you might consider using that language instead of the vaguer "this position". I also agree that you might consider expanding your introduction to include an additional sentence or two after "octogenarians" regarding specifics related to the job; that's why I asked the question about voice. Re: Need help with a Coverletter - BernDog - 07-13-2011 Good comments. I'd just add that unless this is for medical our counseling fields, I'd go with "teen to elderly". I think the goal should be what is the absolute shortest and simplest you could make this (good goal for any writing). Take out as much as you can and still get the exact same meaning across. That said, the amount of text included in your OP, IMHO, is not enough to justify a letter. Don't make it more complicated to make it longer, just add in more stuff. Address one or two bullet points conversationally that you feel are highlights from the resume. Give the reader an actual reason to seek more info in the resume. The cover letter is the sales pitch. The resume is just tech specs. Also, refer to the resume at the end, not right away. mrthuse, "octagenarians"? Really? Re: Need help with a Coverletter - anonymouse1 - 07-13-2011 That's excellent--I used to do this stuff professionally, and that's excelllent. Chakravartin wrote: Dear [Insert name of HR person or manager. Write to a specific person whenever possible.] Throughout my years as a [whatever the job was] I have encountered people of many cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds and ages ranging from adolescence to geriatric.	This is the experience that I would bring as your [job title]. [Statement that is more specific than the last one, illustrating strengths that may not be clear from the resume. It's often followed with bullet-points highlighting accomplishments that reflect the applicant's suitability for the specific job.] Thank you for your kind consideration. Yours truly, [Name]

Need help with a Coverletter - Printable Version

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Need help with a Coverletter - kap - 07-13-2011

Could it be written any better? It's Wife's cover-letter. Tia

"Attached is my resume for your review. You will find that I have worked amongst a vast population of many cultural and socio-economic backgrounds, with ages ranging from adolescence to geriatric. I hope that you will consider me a strong candidate for this position and will eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,
"

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - IronMac - 07-13-2011

Yes, but I can't reword it for now. But:

- the second sentence is a bit too long and a bit too awkward.
- the third sentence should be something along the lines of "I am sure that you will find me a strong candidate for the position and I will follow up with you next week."

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - IronMac - 07-13-2011

What's the position?

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - Chakravartin - 07-13-2011

Dear [Insert name of HR person or manager. Write to a specific person whenever possible.]

Throughout my years as a [whatever the job was] I have encountered people of many cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds and ages ranging from adolescence to geriatric.

This is the experience that I would bring as your [job title].

[Statement that is more specific than the last one, illustrating strengths that may not be clear from the resume. It's often followed with bullet-points highlighting accomplishments that reflect the applicant's suitability for the specific job.]

Thank you for your kind consideration.

Yours truly,

[Name]

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - zero - 07-13-2011

It shouldn't be 3 sentences. Expand as Chak says

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - WHiiP - 07-13-2011

zero wrote:
It shouldn't be 3 sentences. Expand as Chak says

:agree:, BUT, keep it concise. Not too lengthy, or it won't get read.

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - testcase - 07-13-2011

1: address it to a particular person.

2: Not "I hope..." Try: You will find me a strong candidate... OR I am a strong candidate..... OR I am the ideal candidate....

3: I don't like "I eagerly await"...... How about: I look forward to speaking with you soon... OR I look forward to working with you OR I look forward to joining your team

Good luck!

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - mrthuse - 07-13-2011

If you're satisfied w/ the voice, I suggest the following edits:

"Attached is my resume for your review.

My experience has been working with populations of diverse cultural and socio-economic backgrounds ranging in age from adolescence to octogenarians. I believe I possess the skills necessary for this position and I hope that you consider me a strong candidate. I eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,"

If you could be more specific regarding the actual job, you might consider using that language instead of the vaguer "this position".

I also agree that you might consider expanding your introduction to include an additional sentence or two after "octogenarians" regarding specifics related to the job; that's why I asked the question about voice.

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - BernDog - 07-13-2011

Good comments. I'd just add that unless this is for medical our counseling fields, I'd go with "teen to elderly". I think the goal should be what is the absolute shortest and simplest you could make this (good goal for any writing). Take out as much as you can and still get the exact same meaning across.

That said, the amount of text included in your OP, IMHO, is not enough to justify a letter. Don't make it more complicated to make it longer, just add in more stuff. Address one or two bullet points conversationally that you feel are highlights from the resume. Give the reader an actual reason to seek more info in the resume. The cover letter is the sales pitch. The resume is just tech specs.

Also, refer to the resume at the end, not right away.

mrthuse, "octagenarians"? Really?

Re: Need help with a Coverletter - anonymouse1 - 07-13-2011

That's excellent--I used to do this stuff professionally, and that's excelllent.

Chakravartin wrote:
Dear [Insert name of HR person or manager. Write to a specific person whenever possible.]

Throughout my years as a [whatever the job was] I have encountered people of many cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds and ages ranging from adolescence to geriatric.