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Friday Funnies - political - S. Pupp - 10-27-2023
Here's a blast from the past - a Dealmac Forum post from over 20 years ago, with answers to the timeless question: "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?"
dealmac forum
OT: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road (long)
Author: Monster (Registered User)
Date: 01-16-03 10:57
GEORGE W. BUSH:
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
AL GORE:
The chicken crossing the road represented the application of two different
functions (road and chicken) of government in a new, reinvented way,
designed to bring greater services and compassion to the American people.
RALPH NADER:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH:
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome.
Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you
to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.
JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side. That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I
say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it had a
serious case of molting yet went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE:
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
from the X-Files)You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have
to cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads but
lay eggs, file our important documents, and balance your checkbook - and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and said unto the chicken, Thou shalt
cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS:
I missed one?
Re: Friday Funnies - political - gabester - 10-27-2023
Modernization:
QANON
It wasn't a chicken - it was a pedophile transgender alien rooster seeking a women's restroom to force vaccinations on unsuspecting patriots with a 5G election stealing device.
Re: Friday Funnies - political - TheTominator - 10-27-2023
Modernization:
BIRDS AREN'T REAL:
It wasn't a chicken. It was a spy drone operated by the US government.
Re: Friday Funnies - political - steve... - 10-27-2023
(tu)
As I recall, Monster did some very entertaining What's for Dinner video slide shows.
Re: Friday Funnies - political - Acer - 10-27-2023
TRUMP
I saw it cross with my own eyes. There were many chickens, really. And very beautiful road. It was an amazing thing.
Re: Friday Funnies - political - btfc - 10-27-2023
“ TRUMP
I saw it cross with my own eyes. There were many chickens, really. “
I just start kissing them.
It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait.
Grab them by the oviduct.
You can do anything.
Re: Friday Funnies - political - S. Pupp - 10-27-2023
miley-laughing001: to the above responses!
Re: Friday Funnies - political - Speedy - 10-27-2023
miley-music039:
Re: Friday Funnies - political - Ca Bob - 10-27-2023
Whatever it is, to call it chicken is a micro-aggression.
Re: Friday Funnies - political - Tiangou - 10-27-2023
btfc wrote:
“ TRUMP
I saw it cross with my own eyes. There were many chickens, really. “
I just start kissing them.
It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait.
Grab them by the oviduct.
You can do anything.
Do they have chickens in Iowa? What is this? I'll tell you.
If I were elected and I had somebody hot on my tail, I mean we’re beating him by a lot, I say, "That guy’s doing really well. Indict him for something." Very easy.
Indict him for walking across the street, gets indicted.
We got rid of Comey and a lot of guys, but then we got the whole thing with that dust flying over from China.
Chicken? They’ve driven us up because people realize they’re fake and phony and they’re political. Like fly. Fly.
Bad. Very bad. They’re bad. They’re hurting our country.
I hate flies! I'll get in trouble for saying that.
Cruelty to animals, no it's true.
I didn’t know you had flies in Iowa.
The other day I was at a place, it was a beautiful place, but they had, like, flies.
And I said, "Get fly paper!"
They said, "Sir, they’re not allowed to sell it anymore because of cruelty to animals." They actually said that.
I don't know. Can you get the fly... used to be great, right?
I have a little news for you. What? I just got indicted or they intend to indict me because I called the election rigged. They wrote books about it. And what about Hillary? What about all the Democrats? About what they said about 2016? To this day, oh, they’ve gotten very quiet lately. Do you notice that? They’ve gotten very quiet lately.
But they said "You can't do that anymore, sir, it's cruelty."
Thousands and thousands, they’re pouring into the country and they don’t do anything about it. And look, they can’t be stupid because anybody that can cheat on elections like that’s not stupid. They either are stupid or they hate our country because all of these things
No, no, but you have to say that.
What the hell is going on with this country?
You can’t even say "merry flypaper" anymore.