I think my Elderly Dad is abusing my also Elderly Mom..verbal and mental

[Uncle Wig]

Kraniac, I'm glad you intervened and comforted your poor mom and confronted your dad. I have no experience to compare so I don't think I can offer you much useful advice, but it does sound like your idea of separating them at least temporarily may be a good one.

My best wishes to you.

[mattkime]

sorry you must deal with this. i'm glad you're stepping in.

[Dennis S]

Get your dad some counseling while there's time. I took a woman with dementia to the doctor yesterday and spent 4 1/2 hours with her. I can't imagine living with someone with dementia full time.

[JoeM]

I have nothing to offer, advice-wise, but just wanted to wish you and your family the best. It must be very hard to have this happening to your parents. I'm dealing with some issues regarding my 96 yr old mom but I have to say it now seems such a smaller deal after reading your post. Good luck!

[Filliam H. Muffman]

I agree with much of what DavidS and Undoug said. Counseling and support for both of them. Kraniac, you might consider going to counseling or joining a support group too.

[Grumpyguy]

My dad had alzheimer's and my mom used to get so upset with the odd things the disease makes its victims do.

Your dad is probably overwhelmed and at some point, your mom probably needs or will need an in house nurse or assistance or will need to be moved to a care facility.

I moved back home to help with my dad. Physcially, he was in great shape and when he began falling I couldn't pick him up. I had to get several neighbors and we all struggled to pick him up and get him in a chair.

At that point, I knew I could no longer care for him at home.

At that point, my dad was 85 and so was my mom. That was a lot of stress for my mom and i guarantee it is for you dad as well.

[rich in distress]

Filliam H. Muffman wrote:
Kraniac, you might consider going to counseling or joining a support group too.

That was suggested to me recently.
I of course, discarded the idea immediately... yet it keeps popping up from time to time.
Good luck!

[Kraniac]

Everyone,

thanks so much for your comforting words and advice. It really does make a difference to hear stories from those of you who are in similar situations..It gets lonely somtimes in these moments..it can be very insulated-doing this and knwoing that we're not alone is huge..HUGE

..I'd respond to each and every one of you but I don't the moments to do it..Know that I've read and re-read this thread and will consider all of your advice and it's relevance to the particular circumstances..

We've made some changes and my Sister is going to take my Mom for 3 days every week..this a big thing in many ways..

Let it be said..THANKS!!