Friday Funnies: Post your joke, gif, funny story

[Lux Interior]

My brother was born without eyelids.

So they circumcised him and grafted the foreskin for eyelids.

He's fine now, but a little cock-eyed.

[RAMd®d]

A distraught man is in his doctor's office and says 'My girlfriend is pregnant. We always use protection and the condoms never break. How is this possible??'

The doctor replies 'Let me tell you a story. There once was a hunter who carried his rifle everywhere he went. One day on his way out he grabs his umbrella instead of the rifle.

A lion suddenly jumps out of the bush, about to attack the hunter. The hunter raises his umbrella and shoots. The lion is dead at his feet.'

The man scoffs 'That's rubbish. Someone else must have shot the lion.'

The doctor says 'Good. You understand the story. Nurse, next patient please.'